Like a thief in the Dark Knight -



July 21, 2012

Lives were shattered, lost and forever changed.

I'm a Coloradan, but more importantly, a human being. And as a human, I'm finding it hard to focus on my writing, on my personal goals when there is so much sadness clouding my home state right now, over-shadowing my own heart.

When I heard the news Saturday morning, about a crazed gun man who opened fire on unsuspecting movie goers, there was a sickening feeling that started in my stomach and spread throughout.

After forty five minutes of news that showed repeated images of people crying, reports of injuries, dead, recaps of people crawling through pools of blood, and wondering if the hail of bullets was ever going to stop; I felt like puking.

I also felt angry.

Angry that someone so disturbed and evil attacked people in such a vulnerable position. We've all been to the theater. At best, there are two or three exits - for hundreds of people.

Sitting ducks.

That's what comes to mind when I think of a sold out theater. Those people were sitting there, in the dark, all lined up and completely unsuspecting. Enclosed, encased. The reports are seventy victims, twelve who didn't survive. Worse than that though, many people suffered two, three, and even four gun shot wounds. In reality, there are numerous "victims" moms, dads, brothers, sisters, cousins, friends, grandparents, neighbors, peers, co-workers - who are all victims. They lost loved ones. Their lives are affected. The victims, are countless.

What all of this really made me think about was writing.

Huh?  You might say. Well, this person was a villain. He was emulating a character in a movie. How common is that? To the extent of this lowly act, not very but, common in general yes. Violence is in our culture. Songs, books, video games, and yes, movies.

As a result of all this exposure to violence, I believe we are desensitized as a people. Worse and even worse things happen everyday and some of us are actually not even surprised anymore. We see violence everyday, after all.

As a writer, all of this made me question the villains in my books. Are any of my villains shooting people? Giving readers any idea that violence is ok? Do I, in any way portray a likable villain in my stories? One that some one would try to emulate?  It's just something to think about.

I'm not trying to be all kumbaya (which there is nothing wrong with, this broken world could use some kumbaya) or anything, I'm just saying. I personally don't want to put anything out there that would inspire a deranged mind to do something horrible.

Of course a deranged mind can formulate meaning that isn't there at all, creating chaos from nothingness; but still.

I know the kind of writer that I am, that I want to be. I want my influence to be for the good. The world has enough darkness, why not shine some light on it?

Speaking of vile villains, we got to see him today - the person responsible for the movie massacre. There was no remorse. He didn't even act like he was paying attention. Act. Is it just me or was he acting like he was completely out of it? Something careful planned and plotted for four months details competency for me.

And now there's anger again. Anger that this "case" is going to drag out for months and months, possibly years. Where's the justice in that?

There's been a lot of talk of what should happen to him. The bottom line is that no matter what happens to him, it will never reverse what he did. It will never make whole the shattered pieces of body or the pain and anguish in the hearts. Only one can make judgement on him, only God can bring justice to such a monstrosity.

A lot of people I know read for entertainment, for a break from the daily grind of their life, for a reprieve into a character's world. I personally, would like to see more stories where good triumphs over evil, where great people finish first, and stories that project a positive influence on their readers. As writers, let's create characters that if emulated, do good things, show perseverance and honesty. The world has enough violence in it, without tapping our imagine for more. Let's have more love stories, more life stories.

I know that I'm just one person, just one writer, and this is my opinion. But, seriously, why not?

To Be Published or Not To Be Published - That is the Question!

I've decided to change my profile from 'aspiring author' to Author. It's part of my positive thinking plan. After all, I am an Author, just an unpublished one - for now (see the positive thinking hard at work? wink, wink). We've had a lot of rainy days here and thanks to the monsoon, and the way the gloom puts my creativity into high gear, I've completed the first chapter of my re-write and I'm feeling pretty positive about it.

Just a few days ago, I was lost in the throngs of my mind, debating about whether or not I wanted to do the re-write. I'm sure I'm not the only Author (I like the sound of that), that has flip flopped a hundred times a day as to whether or not they were going to keep pushing towards their goal, towards their dream.

I've been really busy following Author's blogs and gazing through the Twitter stream. I came across something where a perspective author was debating about finishing a book because she got to 40,000 words and just wasn't into it anymore. Really? Is that it? I was thinking. Maybe it was better that she dropped it.

As an Author (I'm getting used to that) you have to have a commitment to your story, to the plot, to the characters. If you aren't enthused about it, how will anyone else be?  Why write about it at all? That's part of why I know that I can't quit on my Dreams series. I owe it to myself, it's been a two year investment, and a combined 250,000 words later, I owe it to the characters that I've created. What would Anna do? Would she pack it in and quit? Would she just give up? Would Mayson let her? What about Sophie? If Gus could talk, what would he say? Would AJ want Anna to quit? Of course not.

I know I'm not my character but, maybe I can draw from her strength. If she teaches me anything, its perseverance. To take things as they come, one step at a time. If a day at a time is too much, then take it hour by hour or minute by minute.

Do you wanna talk about perseverance? I read on a blog that it ONLY took two hundred (I spelled it out for the dramatic effect) that's right 200 queries for this one author to land an agent, resulting in a published book deal. Jeez, is that all?

Sorry for the sarcasm but, you can imagine how intimidating that sounds...two hundred queries, when most people I know hone in on their top ten or twenty agents. I don't think that that particular query, and its manuscript were bad. It just took a while for it to get to the right person's hands. Not everyone likes french fries, and even fewer people like to dip them in ice cream - it's all about preference. Andrea Brown Literary Agency says that it only takes one 'Yes'. After hearing two hundred 'No's', I bet that 'Yes' was as refreshing as a cold glass of water inside the gates of hell.

As Authors, why do we want to be published? Sure, there's the hope that we'll sell a million copies of our book and increase the cushions in our bank account, and be able to spend our days writing stories we are passionate about and creating characters that make us laugh, cry, and dream, and maybe we'll be able to get free of our overly-air conditioned offices that leave our toes numb and our lips blue, - of course there is all of that. But, there is something else too. Validation.

Validation that the ideas that come to us in the middle of the night, or when we are standing in line at the grocery store, or watching our kids play at the park, are great, full of life, and deserving of being shared with the world. Validation that we're just as good as anyone else whose been published. And validation that we have what it takes to make it as a recognized, professional Author.

So, two hundred queries... if that's what it takes, I guess I should start making my lists now...